What Are Toxic Friends?

The title, its an open question, read it again and actually think to yourself, think about the friendships you hold, is there one that sticks out to you right now and you just know it's toxic? Don't lie to yourself and try to be a good friend and say that no, all the friendships you have are perfect, because they aren't, are they? This is a judgement free zone and right now you just admitted that you are in a toxic friendship.

If you are one of those people who are still on the fence, the little miss people pleasers who would never want to admit out loud to being in a toxic friendship for fear of being perceived as a bad friend, let me describe to you right now what I think a toxic friendship is and you relate that to a friendship you hold.

TOXIC FRIENDS ARE... Un-Supportive 
Side note: I'm not even completely sure if 'unsupportive' is an actual word but I'm going to roll with it because hey it's my blog and I make the rules. 
In a healthy friendship one thing a friend should do is support you no matter how many bad decisions you make, or if you screw up more times than you can count. A true friend is someone who will stand by your side NO MATTER WHAT. If you're in a toxic friendship, that friend isn't going to be by your side no matter what. If something is that important to you, it should be important to them, if you really want something they should be supporting you, if you want to achieve something they should be by you're side motivating you and pushing you on. If they're not doing that, if they really couldn't give a shit about supporting you but completely expect you to support them 200%, they're toxic.

TOXIC FRIENDS ARE... Untrustworthy
Sticking with the "un-" words, if you can't seem to trust them, isn't that a pretty good sign they're toxic? If you find yourself stuttering before telling your friend something important, or with-holding from telling them at all, you know exactly what is going on. A friend is someone you should be able to trust with you're life and if you cant even trust him/her with you're iPhone for more than a few minutes, why are you still in the friendship at all?

TOXIC FRIENDS ARE... Manipulative 
In a true friendship there is no room for manipulation, at all. If they know all the right buttons to push to get you to comply with what they want, to conform to the way they want you, if they need to result to emotional blackmail, your friendship is toxic. Being a friend is about making compromises and understanding if someone can't or won't do something, if you get blackmailed into something you don't want to do, you need to step back and evaluate this friendship immediately.

TOXIC FRIENDS ARE... Selfish 
It has no benefit to them? They don't care. It's not all about them? They still don't care. There is no room for being a selfish person is a friendship, they need to care about you as much as they care about themselves and if they're completely incapable of putting you in their top priorities you shouldn't be putting them anywhere near the top of yours.

TOXIC FRIENDS ARE... Unavailable 
They expect you to tend to them whenever you are needed, but you can't rely on them to do the same for you. If they cannot pencil you into their hectic schedule the few times you do need them, but expect you to drop everything and clear your afternoon schedule the moment they require your assistance they're toxic full stop.

TOXIC FRIENDS ARE... A bad influence
You really don't want to do something? They'll push you and push you until you cave. They will egg you on to make poor life choices and bad decisions because no one can have it better than them. At least if you make that poor life choice they'll more than likely be completely unaffected by it, there for does it really matter to them? Nope, they're toxic.

Toxic friends can and will destroy you, your self esteem, your whole attitude, so notice them before they get the chance to because the world has many good friends just waiting for you to befriend them.

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