So I've been living with my boyfriend for around about nine months, enough time to have hated it and enough time to deal with my issues and result to the fact that I love it. There are a few things that I wish I had known before we had decided that moving in together was a good idea, so I thought I should tell you all them just in case anyone here is thinking about the move in.
- You think that because you see each other every night and practically live with each other nothing is going to change. You are wrong. Before we moved in together Brodie and I lived separately but you never would have know because we were always together. When the time came that we finally found a house and moved in together I got quite overwhelmed by the fact that we lived together, we shared one house, all of our stuff was in one house, there was no where to run because this was home. I mean I was a bit overwhelmed at first but you do get used to it.
- You're partner has their own stuff. This one didn't really occur to me until I realised that all my clothes weren't going to fit in the wardrobe because surprise, surprise he had clothes too. That was just something that I didn't think about when we decided to move in, I didn't factor in that his stuff would be in the bathroom, or that his towels (that didn't match my navy blue theme that I was so set on at the start) were going to have to go in the linen cupboard.
- You can plan out your daily routine as much as you want, it isn't going to stick. In the lead up to the move in we (mostly me) set out some rules, you know the standard stuff like we'll alternate who cooks dinner every night, we'll do our own washing, we share expense and all that other good stuff. None of that happened, seriously none. I cook dinner every night, unless it's steak because Brodie likes to cook his own, I do all the washing because I'm pretty sure Brodie doesn't even know how to use the washing machine in this house, we do share expenses, however probably not equally. The thing is I don't mind doing all these things because I work shorter hours than Brodie and spend more time at home, but I'm saying that you can plan it out as much as you want, once you actually move in together things don't follow that plan because that is just how life works.
- You're going to hate the first house you live in, eventually. And probably the second. The first house that Brodie and I lived in was actually not that bad, it was old but it was nice and it was on a quiet street where you didn't have to worry about who was wandering around at night. This was until the roof in three of the main rooms started to lean in from water damage. I'm talking like a heavy shower and the lounge room, the spare room and our bedroom would be completely covered in everything from the roof. And the best part was that the land lords weren't going to do a thing about it, we hadn't signed a lease (small town, everyone knows everyone so it was a private lease.) so we had no other choice but to leave. So when we left we did our best to weed the front garden (that hadn't been weeded for several years judging by the thickness of the bloody weeds), we left the house looking the same way it had looked when we came in (exception of the roof obviously) and yet they still managed to only give us I think maybe half of our bond back, go figure that one. We are still currently in our second place, a smaller unit and we both HATE it, its small, its dodgy and I don't like the side of town that we live on. Basically, the moral of this story is you probably aren't going to like your first few places but it (hopefully) gets better.
- You should keep track of who pays for what. We didn't do this and its resulted in one of us paying for more than the other. We do try to share the expenses but it just doesn't work like that. You also need to budget, without a budget you will find yourself short one week and then with extra the next week.
- My favourite thing ever to do now is meal plan. Usually I will get all the meat in one go and then plan the meals for the next week around what is in the freezer but also try and utilise the things that are in the cupboard and in the fridge. Once you have your meal plan for the week you can get all your shopping done in one go. I also suggest having at least one "lazy" meal on your menu- you know for the nights when you get home very hungry and slightly tipsy or the Friday nights when you don't feel like cooking a whole big meal.
- You are going to get very frustrated with each other. Brodie and I have a few good weeks and then we'll have one (usually when I am on my period) when everything each other does just pisses the other off. We always get over it pretty quickly but its going to happen. You're going to need some space at some points.