"you don't have anything to be depressed about, your life is great"

Note: I started this blog post before the suspected suicide of Linkin Park member Chester Bennington, however after his death I was more motivated to get this post published. Why? Because of some of the comments I read from people who clearly have no idea how hard it is to live with mental illness.

"A rich family man kills himself. No sympathy, I'm afraid."

"How can a man be so selfish as to leave six kids without a father."

"A privileged white dude, kills himself, and for what?"

I'm going to say this once. Mental illness does not discriminate. It does not care about how much money you have or how privileged you, it just invades you mind, it doesn't care about these other factors. As to leaving people behind, someone that commits suicide truly feels like there is no other way to end their pain and suffering, like leaving this Earth and everyone else on it would only be a good thing and would be better for everyone else. I am so appalled at some peoples insensitivity and how naive some people can still be when it comes to suicide and mental illness, we're in 2017 people, this is ridiculous.

RIP Chester, I truly hope that you have discovered the peace you were looking for. My love goes out to everyone effected by this x.

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It makes me so mad when people say things like "you don't have anything to be depressed about, your life is fine". Please for the love of God, never give someone your uneducated, unknowing opinion on whether you think their depression is valid or not. The truth is depression and mental illness doesn't need to be validated to be real. I have people say things like this to me all the time and I just kind of sit there like 'OH you've just solved all my problems, do you want to tell my brain that it has nothing to be depressed about?' It makes me so mad that people think that they understand what another person is going through when they blatantly have no clue at all.

You get people who can explain away their depression- like a family breakdown, a close death, a traumatic experience, something that has contributed to their decline in the quality of their mental health. For me and quite a few other people, we can't explain away our mental illness, there is no traumatic events in our past that we can put down as a factor for mental illness. This doesn't mean that our struggles aren't real, or that we don't have depression, it means that we just don't have a specific reason for being depressed, and often it means that we have to work very hard to establish a way of treating and dealing with our mental illness, because there isn't a root cause. It's like shooting into the darkness and hoping to hit something that might be there. 

I often question myself, and I know that other people like me do as well, and we question, you know "why the hell is this happening again?" Because I go through periods of being completely fine and happy and not depressed at all, to feeling like my mind is in an all out war against me so quickly its so hard for people (and me as well) to comprehend that nothing happened to make me depressed, this is just how I am and I honestly think I might be for the rest of my life. 

I think the reason that every body kind of assumes hat they know struggle is because everyone experiences sadness, its a main emotion, we all feel it at some time or another. What not everyone experiences is the uncontrollable sadness that feels like its swallowing you whole, that makes it feel like the whole world is weighed on your shoulders, the sadness that makes you feel even your bones are sad. Similarly, everyone thinks they know the severity of sadness, and thinks that because they could overcome their sadness to rejoin the world as a mentally healthy person, everyone should be able to. But that isn't how it works. Not everyone can come back from sadness the same way that others can.

I did some research into depression without a known cause because I am sure there is still some people that are out there that think you have to have a shitty life to be mentally ill, that someone who seemingly has no issues obviously just can't be depressed. What I came back with was basically what I had been trying to say all along- depression is a universal illness with no known cause and can be contributed by many different factors. Factors can obviously include a traumatic event but there is also other ones such as a chemical imbalance, genetics, certain medical conditions and hormone levels. So, while someones life might look great from the outside and you don't know about any hardships that they could be facing it doesn't mean that they aren't depressed.





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