Part 1: Honey, Time To Love Yourself

Currently it is hard to find a post on my Instagram that isn't someone who has travelled to the US for Coachella OR to stayed closer to home in Melbourne for Meccaland. And do you want to know where I am? I'm going to tell you anyway, I am in bed with a verrrrry swollen (but thankfully not broken) foot after I dropped a kettlebell on it. You can laugh, because God knows everyone else I have told did too. So yep, I'm in bed with Youtube on the TV, a few blog posts open and ready to be finished and my cat Taco resting beside me (and occasionally taking a swipe at my typing fingers), so supportive.

Today's post is a mix of a few posts hat I have started and never really finished, a combination of two post ideas if you will- I want to tell you how I learnt to like myself, and then I also want to talk about self love, the to subjects are very easy to combine together and make one easy to read and interesting post- so I thought hey! lets do this.

First up, what is self love? I want everyone who is reading this to take a second to think about what they think the definition of self love is to them. Everyone is going to have different ideas and thats okay. I can tell you the definition according to Google, it is "regard for ones own well being and happiness." The two key words in that being well being and happiness, because they are two aspects of living a healthy lifestyle.

A few years ago when I was at the lowest point of my depression and I was very unhappy if I had asked myself that question I would have probably have said that self love is- you know being nice to yourself, treating your self with kindness and respect ect. Which is essentially what it is but thats not all if it and I certainly wasn't practicing self love. I think something that people don't get is you can't buy self love, you can't spend money and in return you're going to love yourself. Another thing is you can't force yourself to have it, you need to teach yourself to live in a headspace of self love. You also can't pretend to love yourself, because while on the outside you might be fooling people on the inside you will know the truth and it doesn't feel good at all.

What does self love look like? Unfortunately it isn't buying yourself never ending treats or being cocky-confident, which is a common misconception I think- that treating yo' self all the time is the most important key to self love.
There is a difference between people who practice self love and people who don't and sometimes it can be very noticeable and very evident that someone doesn't love themselves. People who love themselves are happy, successful and healthy- and more often than not people don't practice self love struggle with the same thing. In my opinion happiness, healthiness and being successful are the three main points of being in a headspace of loving yourself. You start practicing self love and ticking those three boxes and your life is going to feel a lot different to how you feel when you don't like yourself.

When I realised that self love was something I was really neglecting- I was very unhappy, I was very unhealthy and my success rates were flat lining. I was in a very bad headspace and had absolutely no regard for my body and my mind. After listening to a Thinker Girls Podcast (search them on Spotify or iTunes!!!!) I was realising the fact that I absolutely did not love myself and because of that I was unhappy, not very healthy and I was having no success with anything. It was a turning point, because I wanted to be all of those things, I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be healthy and I wanted to be a successful person. So I said to myself "Honey, time to love yourself."

My first step was to research and to research good, because if I wanted to love myself and turn it into a full time headspace and not something I gave up after two weeks I needed to equip myself with a whole lot of knowledge on how I was going to do this. I'm going to give you a few books that I did read and I really took a lot away from first, most of them you can buy in book stores, and some of them I just brought on iBooks.
The first one I read was How To Stop Feeling Like Shit by Andrea Owen (and I did get that one from Dymocks btw.) It was very straight forward, blunt and a no-bullshit book talking about the self destructive behaviours that we, as women tend to engage in. And when you read each habit, you sit there and you think "Oh god, I do, do that!" because while you might not realise you are doing it, once its pointed out you think "aw, shit, yep okay."
The second book I wanted to tell you about, which I think is on my iBooks library is You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Cincero, (who, judging by the length of the title listens to Fall Out Boy with their never-ending titles of songs.) This book is not as blunt and serious as the aforementioned book, but instead give it all to you as a funny and inspiring and entertaining. This one is also about identifying your behaviours and then giving you the solutions on how to change it around.

Once I had compiled my information and I felt pretty 'in the know' I set myself a list of a behaviours that I was going to change. You can't set your list and expect to be able to tick them all off in a week, because that is just not practicable. So for me, I set myself an order and worked on them one by one, once I could tick on off, move onto the next. So this was a very long process that still isn't complete.

This is part one of "Honey Time To Love Yourself!" in part two I will talk about the process that I set myself on the journey to loving myself. I couldn't put it all in one blog post because you would be here for years! So part two will be up over the weekend.