Should I have announced it? Was I ready? Am I going to be ready to launch? Am I the right person to be even be doing this? Am I doing it wrong? Are people going to be severely let down by this concept? By this content even? How the hell am I going to run two blogs, study and work full time? Am I trying to do too much? Oh, God.
Just a little look into some of the thoughts swirling around in my head lately. The thing is this: I have been working on creating and getting ready to launch this new aspect of TIA for over three months. I've chopped and changed things, I've given up and started again completely from scratch because I just couldn't get it right so many times I have lost count.
It was a near miss- full on the breakdown that got me this time, it was the night that I announced the new verticle and as soon as I pressed published on the announcement I regretted it immediately. As soon as I put it out to the world I was in full panic mode, the thoughts were racing and I was ready to dive into the comfort and not come out until people had forgotten what I had just said. But I couldn't. I couldn't let these anxious thoughts win. I was doing this, it was going to be a struggle to tell the nervous tension to fuck off, but it was going to happen.
And, it is going to happen- in fact, I'm fairly sure the same night this post goes live, so to will TIA Active and their first piece of content, yay! If I make it that long and don't have a nervous breakdown in between now and then.
At some point last week I looked at myself and thought "right this is getting nothing done, find yourself some ways to manage this nervous anxiety and get on with it." Sometimes the "get shit done" Elyssa inside of me can come out at the very best of times. This is some of the things I have been doing to keep myself from just throwing my laptop off a balcony somewhere it can never be fixed and dropping my phone into some water so I have no way of contacting the outside world.
- Stay in routine
It has been so tempting for me to get out of routine with small things like sleeping in a bit later, or going to bed later, or skipping my morning walk. This is a bad idea. I thrive on routine and knowing exactly what I am doing and when I am doing it helps me to manage my anxiety, so letting myself get out of routine? What was I thinking? How was that going to help my anxiety? I am no good with unpredictably, so I am back in a routine and staying there.
This one isn't for everyone, I know! But if you are wondering why you should be meditating, check this post I wrote for Boss Mode Radio. Anyway, I use the headspace app for around five minutes per day, sometimes I'll do it more than once if I feel super anxious. I take some time to sit there with the guided meditation on and just relax, be calm, be present.
- Have some you time with a strict "don't think about work" policy
For me this is during my daily workout- ain't no time to think about work if you're too busy sweating or trying to stay upright (poor balance issues). I also too the whole of Saturday afternoon/night off and spent time doing things other than thinking about creating content. Worked a charm.. for the night at least.
- Stay in the now
I am the worst at thinking in the present, my mind constantly wonders to the future and then to what I have already done. I always let my mind float back to things I should have done differently, the mistakes I might have made, the wrong turns and let them influence how I am feeling in the present. I have been pulling myself up on that quite a bit lately, and once I realise I am doing it, it gets easier to shut it off.
- If it isn't fact, forget it
Also something I struggle hard with- sticking to the actual facts. My mind comes up with these constant "what ifs.." and "oh that might happen". And I am always pulling myself up and reminding myself that it isn't a fact, it's just what I am making up in my own mind in an attempt to make myself more anxious.
- Figure out worst case scenario
This sounds like it could be the opposite of helpful but if I have something I am REALLY stressing over I give myself a few minutes to plan up what is the absolute worst case scenario for what I am anxious over- what is the worst thing that could possibly happen? Once I have that figured out, I look at it and think "okay, is it really that bad? On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it really?" Once I have put it into perspective I start making a small plan of how I can avoid worst-case scenario- knowing that I am prepared always lessens the grip of anxiety.
- Avoid alcohol and caffeine
I mean, I do this daily but if you don't then maybe you should be. I am anxious a lot of the time, but when I have alcohol or caffeine (the worst case here: both of them in my system at the same time) in me then the anxious feels intensify by a million. People say that alcohol can be a relaxant for some people, for me, it sends my mind into overdrive like when you see those machines working so hard they have steam coming out- that is what I look like with alcohol.
These are some of the ways I have learnt to control my nervous anxiety, they may or may not work for you as well. There is a lot of trial and error involved in finding anxiety combating methods that work for each individual person. Comment below if you have other ways that of combatting nervous anxiety that could help other people.
Don't forget to sign up to the TIA newsletter right here to make sure that you don't miss out on exclusive content sent right to your inbox every Tuesday.